


Gradually

by triplebang



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Anal Sex, Begging, Breathplay, Cock Slapping, Crying, Dirty Talk, Drinking, Drug Use, Face Slapping, Face-Fucking, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Manipulation, Masochism, Mild Blood, Mildly Dubious Consent, Obsession, Possessive Behavior, Sadism, Scratching, Slut Shaming, Unhealthy Relationships, but those two last things are very brief, i think thats it? idk, like very mild, wait no
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-18
Updated: 2019-01-18
Packaged: 2019-10-12 03:08:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,838
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17459465
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/triplebang/pseuds/triplebang
Summary: When Hyunjin falls for Chan, it's sudden and out of control. What is in his control, however, is making sure that Chan falls too. He can make sure that he falls so deep for him that he can't climb out.





	Gradually

**Author's Note:**

> WARNINGS: This fic includes emotional manipulation and dubious consent due to the manipulation, I guess? There's also obsessive and possessive behavior, and talk about a past suicide, so please do not read if any of this material is triggering for you.
> 
> Disclaimer: I in no way think that anything depicted in my fics is acceptable in real life. I strongly believe that these kinds of things should remain within the confines of fiction, and I expect you to be able to make that distinction. Please do not believe that any of this content is normal or acceptable in any way. I do not intend to glorify any of this.
> 
> Shout out to [Hyunseph](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hyunseph/) for being my beta.

Everything in Hyunjin’s life has always been gradual. Nothing has ever happened to him over night, and he’s always been fascinated when he’s able to observe things that are in the process of developing. For example, he remembers when his parents first trusted him with a plant of his own. He had it right at his windowsill and would always make sure to check up on it, watering it daily. Hyunjin remembers seeing that first little sprout appear, and he remembers the sense of pride that had filled him.

That little sprout grew to be a gorgeous flower, and that was how Hyunjin first started to discover what beauty was. He wasn’t all that old when Hyunjin had learned that he was beautiful. He didn’t truly understand what that word meant, he just knew that it was a good thing. When the boy had showed his mother the flower that he’d grown, she called it beautiful. And that’s how Hyunjin understood.

Hyunjin saw his own beauty develop, just like that flower. He knows it’s egotistical to compare himself to a flower, but people keep calling him beautiful, and they started doing it more as he grew. Right now, he’s just finished high school, and everywhere he goes, people turn their heads to look at him.

Problem is, Hyunjin has never understood how people can find other human beings beautiful. That’s why he was so confused for a while when he would receive the compliment as a kid. Not once has he seen beauty in another person, only in flowers, colors, sceneries, buildings, and, well, basically anything that wasn’t a human itself. That is, not until he met Chan.

And, for once, this was something that didn’t even happen gradually. Hyunjin had just met him one day, a friend of a friend. It was Minho who had introduced them, and Hyunjin wasn’t expecting anything special. He never expects anything special. But, that’s just the thing that completely messed Hyunjin up. Chan _isn’t_ that special. He’s goofy, kind of cute, kind of handsome, yet Hyunjin recognizes that he isn’t the objectively best looking person out there. From an unbiased point of view, Chan is just a normal guy, and Hyunjin knows.

However, Hyunjin thinks he’s beautiful. Stunning, gorgeous, breathtaking, all of it. Hyunjin couldn’t stop staring at Chan’s lips, the way they look ignites something deep in the pit of his guts. He thinks that Chan also has amazing eyes, all soft and warm, contrary to the cold emptiness in Hyunjin’s chest, the one that he knows how to cover up so well. Chan has amazing arms, sexy hands, a gorgeous neck, a nice nose. You could name any one of his body parts, and Hyunjin could come up with a positive adjective to describe it with.

Never before in his life has he experienced a desire for someone. He’s seen all of his friends go through it. He’s even acted as if he has had interest in girls before. Hyunjin has gone as far as doing stuff with them, because he knows how to fit in. But, really, he never understood how anyone could feel _attraction_ to somebody. It’s been such a foreign concept, yet he still acted. Most of his life was acting. Kind of like when you solve math problems using the right formulas, without actually understanding how they work or why you’re using them.

But now he gets it. And, although his attraction for Chan was sudden, he did manage to catch the way his feelings developed.

It started off with him immediately finding Chan beautiful. Although, he didn’t really do anything about it. He had to spend time processing this new feeling, a feeling he’s never felt before. He would think about Chan, and think about wanting to see him again. He’d ask Minho questions about him, and he saw how his pool of knowledge about Chan expanded.

Chan likes music; he produces it. Chan knows how to sing and rap, and he’s got his own little rap group, 3RACHA. Chan also likes soccer, used to swim often, used to do ballet, and has two younger siblings. Chan acts pretty dorky, but he knows when to be serious, and he’s extremely hard working, so much that he barely gets any sleep.

Unfortunately, there’s only so much information that Hyunjin can get without talking to the actual man himself. So, he made Minho arrange more hangouts with him, and Hyunjin did his best to get Chan to open up during those hangouts. Eventually, they became close enough that they could call each other friends.

Hyunjin has never felt more excited than when Chan had first invited him over to his apartment. He said yes without a single hesitation, and dropped whatever plans he had on that day, all for the other man. It was an amazing experience, getting to spend one on one time with him. It was far more intimate than when they were with their mutual friends. Hyunjin got to learn things about Chan that the other wouldn’t share in larger groups. He learned about his concerns, anxieties, and insecurities. Hyunjin learned exactly what to say in order to cheer the elder up and he knew exactly how to get Chan to smile at him warmly, in a way that would make Hyunjin’s heart twist.  

Then, when they began spending more time together, Hyunjin noticed how Chan basically started taking control of his mind. He realized that his feelings for the older man grew deeper, and it was kind of uncomfortable, truthfully, because Hyunjin understood that he wouldn’t be able to stop them. All of his thoughts would revolve around the other man, and everything he did would also revolve around him. It was always about Chan, and Hyunjin was happier than ever.

He didn’t truly remember to think about the fact that Chan is a normal guy, though. Chan experiences emotions the same way most people do, and he isn’t as obsessed with Hyunjin as Hyunjin is with him. This realization dawned on him one day when they were out as a group, and he spotted Chan flirting with some random girl. At first, Hyunjin was confused. The girl was ugly, so he didn’t get why Chan would talk to her. Then, he remembered that Chan was tipsy, and that lately he’s been telling Hyunjin about his sexual frustration. Hyunjin figures that Chan must be desperate.

He could be the one to take care of that for him, though.

However, he realizes that he can’t just outright do anything like that. He knows that people like Chan usually need to get eased into it, especially since the two of them currently only have a platonic relationship. Hyunjin needs to do this gradually. And he needs to start acting now, before Chan gets taken away from him.

So, he starts flirting with Chan. He drops more compliments, tells him things that imply that he’s special, and Chan takes all of it well. Soon enough, he even starts flirting back, and nothing beats the satisfaction that Hyunjin feels when he knows that he’s luring Chan right where he wants him. It’s almost like a game, really, and Hyunjin is good at games. He nearly wishes that it were a bit harder. He loves Chan so much, though, that he wouldn’t say no to just having him served on a silver platter.

What Hyunjin has to do now, however, is to ensure that he really grabs a hold of Chan. It’s one thing to be flirting with each other, to start dating and to get into a relationship, and it’s another thing to really _have_ somebody. Hyunjin has seen it before; his friends get into relationships, but then they break it off for whatever stupid reason. Hyunjin cannot, at any cost, have Chan leave him. He’s spent too much of his time and energy on the man. Hyunjin _loves_ him, he needs to make sure that Chan doesn’t go anywhere else.

He knows what this kind of behavior is seen as; it’s seen as creepy, as ugly. Hyunjin is not ugly, so he knows he can’t be obvious about this. He knows people think it’s wrong to want to own a person, but… he doesn’t understand why. So, he’s going to do it anyway. Secretly.

But, how does he do this without Chan himself finding out what’s going on? Truthfully, Hyunjin didn’t know how to do it either. It wasn’t until one night, after Chan and he had a little bit to drink, that it finally came to him.

“Hyunjin,” Chan sighs, face resting in his palms. They’re sitting across from each other on Chan’s small dining table, if you could even call it that. “There’s a reason I’ve been so down recently,” he admits, and Hyunjin immediately brings all of his attention to the elder.

Chan _has_ been a lot quieter lately, not as energetic, and Hyunjin’s been trying to cheer him up and get things back to normal. For the first time, though, it hasn’t been working as well. It’s something that’s been bothering him; he felt as though he did something wrong. Luckily, he eventually realized that Chan wasn’t only like this when it came to Hyunjin; everyone agreed that he seemed sad.

So, Chan finally opening up about it to him, and not anyone else, means that Hyunjin is about to learn some special information. Something deeper, something that Hyunjin knows will be valuable.

“What is it?” he asks carefully, trying to meet Chan’s eyes, but the elder is looking down onto the table. Hyunjin knows this means that he must be nervous or unsure, so he gently slides his hand onto the table, palm facing up, so that Chan can hold onto it. He does.

Chan takes a little moment before he says, “Actually, I always get like this around this time of year. I’ve never told anyone before, because I did something horrible, but,” he looks up at Hyunjin, eyes full of trust, “I feel like I can be open about it with you…”

Perfect. Yes. Yes. Hyunjin loves this, though he doesn’t let it show on his face how much he loves it. He wants to smile so badly, but instead he gives Chan the most understanding and affectionate gaze that he can muster. “Of course. You know you can tell me anything, I would never judge you. I know you, and I know that you’re the kindest and most genuine person there is.”

Chan laughs through his nose darkly. “You might not still think that after what I say.”

Hyunjin frowns at him. “No matter what it is, I know that you’re a good person. Either way, it won’t change my perception of you. I kind of,” Hyunjin hesitates here, not sure if he should say what he wants to say, “I like you unconditionally.” He blushes, and now it’s his turn to look down at the table. He never usually gets flustered, but something about Chan always makes him just a bit weaker.

He feels the elder squeeze his hand and hears him sigh. “So, the thing is, I basically pushed a friend of mine to commit suicide,” he admits.

Of all things Hyunjin could have expected, it certainly wasn’t that. Chan? Pushing somebody to commit suicide? That sounds ridiculous; Chan genuinely cares about people, unlike Hyunjin, so how could have something like that possibly happened? He squeezes his hand back and waits for an explanation.

“Like, six years ago, there used to be a guy that my friends and I were friends with, but none of us really liked him. He was a bit of a weirdo, kind of hard to talk to, kind of boring, and very annoying. He’d always say the dumbest shit and he’d always lie about all sorts of things, and we all got tired of him pretty quickly. He kind of tended to stick to me more though, just because I’m a bit more of a pushover. I would sort of pretend that I liked him, but then I’d go and talk shit about him behind his back. He eventually started talking to me about all of this depressive stuff, how he thinks that nobody cares about him and that he should just kill himself, and I never did anything about it. When I heard him talk about all of that stuff, I just wanted him to shut up so that I could go do something else.”

Chan pauses to take a few breaths, eyes distant. Hyunjin can tell that he’s lost in thought, so he runs a thumb over his hand to bring him back. So, Chan continues, “I just ignored him. I was so selfish. It all got so much worse when he caught me laughing about him with my friends. The look on his face… I still remember it so vividly to this day. I’ve never seen so much hurt and betrayal on someone’s face like that, and it finally dawned on me that I was an asshole. I tried to apologize, but he wouldn’t hear any of it. My friends ended up saying that it was for the best, that he was annoying anyway, but I still felt guilty. A few weeks later, he killed himself.”

Hyunjin stares at Chan silently as he says all of this. He observes the details of his facial expression, observes the way his eyes move to look around the room, and observes the wetness forming at the corners of them. With a choked up voice, Chan says, “It hurt so bad. I never thought I really liked the guy, but it felt so _horrible_ when I heard the news. I felt hollow, and it was so much worse knowing that I could have done something to help. All of those times he would talk about how awful he felt, and I hadn’t bothered to truly hear him out… I basically killed him. Or, I let him die. How hard could it have been for me to at least listen, to at least stop laughing behind his back? If I had done the bare minimum, he might not have ended up that way.”

Small tears finally spill, and Hyunjin knows that the right thing to do would to immediately go hug him, or maybe just give him a tissue. But Hyunjin, being who he is, just wonders what Chan’s tears taste like. He wants to lick them off of his face. He’s awed, because this is the first time he’s ever seen Chan cry, and it’s turning him on, which he wasn’t expecting. Seeing people cry or be in pain had always either been annoying or funny to him. This is the first time that it brings him arousal. He’s going to need to figure out what to do with this information.

Hyunjin settles on bringing his other hand to Chan’s so that he can rub circles into it, hoping that it at least comforts him somewhat. His mind is too clouded by arousal to properly figure out what he should do, so this is all he can offer.

“This is something that I’ve tried so hard to push back, to never think about, but every year, near the anniversary, it just always comes back to me. No matter how hard I try, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to get over the guilt. It’s like, I’m out here living my life, but he’s dead, and I hadn’t even bothered trying to help him. I’m horrible.” At the last words, he breaks out into a sob. That’s when Hyunjin finally stands up and makes it to his side, pulling him into an awkward hug. Chan’s face is pressed into his stomach, and his hands grip onto Hyunjin’s shirt.

Hyunjin can feel the man shaking and breathing heavy as he soothingly runs his hands through his hair. It takes everything that Hyunjin has in him to not pop a boner right in front of Chan, especially not while the elder is so dangerously close to his crotch. He breathes in and out through his nose, and tries thinking about what Chan needs right now. What can Hyunjin do to strengthen their bond and trust?

Nothing is coming to him. His mind is failing, and for once he cautiously allows his emotions to take the lead. Hyunjin crouches down and gently cups Chan’s face. “You know, none of this changes the way I see you. I really meant it when I said that I like you unconditionally,” he murmurs, and Chan’s expression is hard to read.

After Chan calms down a bit, he asks, “Really? Are you saying that just to make me feel better? You don’t have to lie to me, that’s okay. I understand why you’d be disgusted with me.” His voice is all high-pitched and shaky as he speaks, making it difficult for Hyunjin to stop fantasizing about all sorts of things.

“Yes, I’m really sure. I’d never be disgusted with you,” he answers. The two men stare at each other for a bit, before Hyunjin decides to boldly lean down and peck him on the cheek. It’s a simple action, one that doesn’t need to have any weight behind it, but Hyunjin can feel the weight. He doesn’t know if Chan does, until after he pulls away. Chan blinks and quickly chases after Hyunjin’s lips with his own.

How many times as Hyunjin thought about kissing Chan? He couldn’t even count. Hyunjin has never been a fan of kissing, didn’t really think it did anything for him, but kissing Chan? That was a different story. Every time he’d think about it, his stomach would get all of these disgusting fluttery feelings. Imagining what it would be like to kiss Chan felt amazing, but actually doing it? Indescribable.

It feels as though everything is finally right in the world. It’s like every single moment he had spent with Chan has finally paid off. Those thick, beautiful lips are finally moving against Hyunjin’s own, and he wants to do nothing but devour them. He knows that this isn’t the time though, that this is a kiss for comfort, and not more. When he pulls away, Chan whines and chases him for more. Hyunjin can’t help but giggle. Maybe it’s because he thinks that Chan is cute, or maybe it’s because he’s satisfied with how Chan wants more. It’s probably a combination of both.

They kiss a little bit more that night, but the most important thing that Hyunjin retains from all of this is the secret that Chan had told him. With it, he’ll be able to ensure that Chan doesn’t leave him. After all, how would Chan be able to leave the person that he now trusts the most?

  
  


Things go smoothly from then on. Hyunjin and Chan get much closer, they kiss more often, and they kiss more passionately. Hyunjin revisits his hot make out sessions with Chan when he jerks off; it gives him so much material to work with. Chan’s flesh, Chan’s breath, Chan’s hand’s, his chest and his legs and everything, actually. Chan. Hyunjin loves him so much, loves feeling him grinding against his thighs and moaning against his mouth.

They haven’t gone further than that, though. It’s not because Hyunjin doesn’t want to or anything, he just wants to tease Chan. He wants to know how far he can push him, and he wants to make him more and more desperate. They haven’t really put a title to their relationship, but Hyunjin knows that he’s got him wrapped around his finger. All Hyunjin has to do now is to make sure that Chan can’t unwrap himself. He wants Chan to know that if he tries to, he won’t have anywhere else to go.

Hyunjin makes his first move when they’re making out on Chan’s couch, abandoning some boring movie that they thought would be interesting to watch. “Channie,” he whines in between kisses, panting into the elder’s mouth, “I love you so much.”

Chan slows down and looks into Hyunjin’s eyes. This is the first time that either of them had used that word, but Chan needs to know this. He’s not going to tiptoe around it or wait for the elder to say it first. It’s true, after all. Hyunjin does love Chan; he loves him more than he’s loved anything or anyone else.

Chan breathes out shakily, and answers, “I love you too.” He leans down to kiss Hyunjin softly, then pulls away to say, “So much.” Then he kisses him again and says, “You’re so amazing.” Kiss. “You understand me like nobody else does.” Kiss. “You’re really beautiful.” Kiss. “I can’t believe I’m lucky enough to have you like this.”

Chan’s confessions pour from his lips one by one, and Hyunjin had no idea how deeply the man actually felt for him. He knew Chan liked him, of course, but he’s so pleasantly surprised to find out that he likes him _this_ much. It’s only going to make everything so much easier for Hyunjin.

Hyunjin also gives Chan some confessions of his own. He tells him that he’s always found him gorgeous, from the moment that he laid eyes on him, that he’s the most beautiful person that he’s ever seen, that he loves everything about him. Being able to say all of that feels liberating, and Hyunjin loves to shower him with praises. “My baby,” he slips, and Hyunjin almost regrets saying it because of how possessive it sounds, but when Chan moans, he nearly moans right back. Knowing that Chan likes it makes everything so much better. He can’t believe how lucky he is.

“You like it when I call you that?” Hyunjin asks. Chan nods eagerly in response, making Hyunjin chuckle lightly. “Alright. My beautiful baby,” he coos, making Chan groan.

After that, Hyunjin makes sure to use the possessive term of endearment more often. He loves using the word ‘my’ when referring to the elder, and he loves that Chan responds so well to it. He showers Chan with constant affection, and even gives him small gifts every now and then. Soon, it’s almost as if Chan only has eyes for him. “You take care of me so well, Hyunjin,” he says to him one afternoon, and it makes Hyunjin smile. Of course he takes care of him well. He knows everything about Chan, and he’s the person best suited for him. He hopes that soon Chan will start realizing that Hyunjin is the only one for him.

Making sure that Chan knows this means that he has to know other people won’t get him like Hyunjin does. And, this means that he’s going to need to remind Chan of that fact. The secret that the elder had trusted him comes in handy for this because, truly, any normal person would agree that what Chan did was wrong. The only reason Hyunjin doesn’t care is just because he’s different; he doesn’t feel emotions the way other people do. So, that’s the only reason that Chan gets a pass for what he did.

One night, while they’re out at a café, Chan brings up the incident. “You know,” he says, after taking a sip of his hot chocolate that Hyunjin is treating him to, “I feel a lot better recently, about the thing that I told you a while back. It’s done so much good for me to finally take it off my chest.”

Hyunjin smiles at him, all warm and sweet, similar to Chan’s hot chocolate. “I’m glad. I hate having to see you be all down. I’m really happy that I could make you feel better, Channie.” He stops for a moment before he adds, “I’d be careful if I were you, though.”

Chan blinks at him confusedly and asks, “Careful how?”

The younger sighs before he elaborates, “Well, I wouldn’t really be too open about this thing with anyone else. I don’t really think you did anything wrong, but that doesn’t mean other people will agree…” He carefully examines Chan’s expression, before he adds, “I just wouldn’t want anyone to think that you’re disgusting or something; you’re far from it. Sometimes, though, people have a hard time looking past certain things.”

Chan bites down on his lower lip. “Yeah, you’re right I guess. It’s not like I was really planning to, though…”

“Aw, why not? Is it because I’m the only person you could _ever_ trust?” Hyunjin jokes, trying to bring up the atmosphere. Chan laughs and rolls his eyes in response.

“I mean, at this point, you might as well be.” Hyunjin laughs lightheartedly at that, because he knows that this is more than just a joke. It won’t take too long now until his Channie finally sees that he really can’t go to anyone else.

  
  


It’s becoming increasingly hard to start controlling his possessive behaviour. When Chan goes out with some friends, Hyunjin can’t help but feel somewhat worried. He remembers that intoxicated Chan that tried to get with some ugly girl, and something icky starts building up in his gut. He still hasn’t fucked Chan yet, wanting to make him as desperate as possible, but what if Chan tries to find somebody else?

He knows he’s being unreasonable. After all, Chan continuously talks about how much he loves Hyunjin, how much he trusts him. It really wouldn’t make sense for him to do anything, but what if somebody decided to take advantage of Chan? It makes Hyunjin uneasy and restless, so he sends Chan a text.

A half hour, a full hour, two hours pass, and Hyunjin still doesn’t see anything back. Okay, maybe his phone died. That’s a totally understandable explanation. Or even then, maybe Chan’s having a good time and isn’t constantly checking his phone. But, what if he’s having _too_ much of a good time. Or, what if something happened to him? Hyunjin can’t help but feel himself get tenser, so he shoots Chan another text. Still no answer, though.

Hyunjin leaves his apartment and makes it to Chan’s. It’s not weird because they’ll come over to each other’s places randomly and basically live there. At this point, they might as well just move in together. He was half expecting to maybe catch Chan cheating on him, but the apartment is empty. It reassures him only slightly, but there are still so many bad possibilities of what could be going on.

He makes himself comfortable on Chan’s couch and tries to give him a call. Unsurprisingly, the elder doesn’t answer and Hyunjin nearly throws his phone on the ground out of frustration. Maybe he’s freaking out for nothing, but would it fucking kill Chan to send him a simple text message? His phone better have died or he better have some damn good reason to be ignoring Hyunjin like this.

It truly feels like an eternity before Hyunjin hears the front door to Chan’s apartment open. The elder quietly walks in and takes his shoes and coat off, before turning on the lights and spotting Hyunjin on his couch. Chan looks kind of out of it; he’s definitely had quite a bit to drink, and maybe he even smoked. When his eyes land on Hyunjin though, they immediately melt into a soft, happy gaze and he smiles brightly.

A part of Hyunjin feels itself turning soft. He wants to drop all of his anger against Chan, but he can’t let this go undiscussed. Chan needs to understand that Hyunjin was worried about him, and that it’s not okay to leave him alone with his thoughts like this without any reassurance.

“Channie, baby, come here,” he commands softly, patting the seat next to him on the couch. Chan seems a bit confused, but does as he says nonetheless.

“What is it?” he asks innocently, as if he did nothing wrong. It’s almost hard for Hyunjin to stay mad at him.

“I was worried about you,” Hyunjin says. “I texted you twice and you never responded, and I even gave you a call, but I still got nothing. I know I might be overreacting, but I couldn’t get all sorts of bad thoughts out of my head. Like, what if something had happened to you? Baby, why didn’t you answer me?” He strokes Chan’s hair behind his ear. His voice is calm, but there’s a slight sharp edge to it.

Chan blinks before he reaches for his phone in his pocket. When the home screen light up, Hyunjin sees the text messages he’d left him and the missed call notification. “Oh,” Chan says. “I’m sorry Hyunjin, my phone was on silent and I missed these,” he explains. As if that explanation is a good enough reason.

“I understand, but don’t you think I would have been a bit worried? You didn’t want to at least let me know that you were fine, or anything? Did you just forget about me?” asks Hyunjin, and Chan’s expression twists into one of worry.

“No, that’s not it!” he argues, though his speech is a little bit slurred. Hyunjin doesn’t even know what he’s consumed, but it’s probably too much of it. “I was just really distracted. I’m sorry, Hyunjin. I won’t do it again. I don’t want you to be worried over me.”

Hyunjin sighs and leans in to kiss Chan’s cheek. “Okay, I trust you to not do that again. But you’re not going to be able to get me to stop worrying over you. I love you so much, I’d be really upset if anything ever happened to my Channie.”

“Okay. I love you too Hyunjin,” Chan mumbles. “I love you so much.” He grabs onto Hyunjin’s forearm and moves it so that his hand is on Chan’s waist. The elder leans down to press his mouth against Hyunjin’s and the other accepts his kiss eagerly.

Hyunjin can taste something sour and unpleasant on his tongue, but that just means that he’s going to have to lick it clean. Hyunjin does a thorough job at running his tongue through Chan’s mouth, cleaning up whatever that substance is, and Chan whimpers when Hyunjin pulls away. He can definitely tell that the elder is hard, and if the look that Chan is giving him is anything to go by, he knows that he wants Hyunjin to fuck him.

And, Hyunjin would. He really would, but he can’t have their first proper time be when Chan’s drunk and high. Chan needs to properly experience everything, he needs to remember how good Hyunjin makes him feel. “Not tonight, baby,” he tells him. And Chan groans in frustration.

“I don’t understand. You love me, right Hyunjin?” Chan whines. “So why? Why can’t you just fuck me? I want you so bad. I’m going to go crazy.”

Hyunjin kisses Chan’s jaw then says, “Don’t worry, I’ll fuck you so good you won’t be able to think of anything else, alright? But not now. You need to be sober for it. I want you to experience it properly, okay?”

Chan whines some more before he says, “Fine. You fucking tease.” Hyunjin only laughs in response. He helps Chan up from the couch and gets him ready for bed. They fall asleep together cuddling, and Hyunjin is more grateful than ever that Chan is safe and sound in his arms.

  
  


Hyunjin keeps his promise of fucking Chan. It’s a few days later when he finally does it. The sex is all soft and sweet, and Hyunjin peppers Chan’s face with kisses the whole way through, while showering him with praise and compliments. Chan’s body is truly beautiful, better than he could have ever imagined.

One thing that Hyunjin feared, though, is not being able to stop fucking Chan once he starts. Chan doesn’t seem to really have a problem with it though. They fuck nearly every day for a week, and each time is as sweet as the last. All of the sex is making up for when Hyunjin was depriving him, and it feels so, so satisfying.

The thing is, though, Hyunjin thinks he’d prefer to be rough with Chan. He doesn’t know if the elder would be up for it or not, but he remembers how hard he’d gotten when Chan started crying in front of him. He’d love to see him do that again, would love to see him getting all ruined and abused, but he doesn’t know how to approach this with Chan, so for now he leaves the thoughts be.

Everything is going incredibly well, Hyunjin even ended up moving in with Chan, finally. But, he knew that it was all too good to be true. Nothing is perfect, ever, and as he watches his relationship with Chan grow and strengthen, he starts seeing signs that worry him.

For some reason, his baby thinks that it’s okay to do stuff without notifying him first. Like, Chan will just decide to go out with a friend without even letting Hyunjin know about it. Not only does Hyunjin get confused when Chan doesn’t respond to him, but he also gets bothered when he figures out that the apartment is empty. It especially gets on his nerves when Chan acts as though it isn’t a big deal.

Hyunjin confronts him about it over dinner. “I’m not saying that I have to know about every single thing that you do,” Hyunjin explains, “I’m just saying that it stresses me out when you disappear for no reason. Do you really not care about how I feel?”

Chan huffs. “Don’t you think you’re being kind of overdramatic? I’m not going to die if I go get some coffee with my friend.”

“That’s not it,” Hyunjin argues. “It’s just I’m scared for you, Chan. You’re not a normal person, and I’m afraid that you might slip up and do something stupid. I don’t want people to start hating you for no reason. You don’t deserve that.”

Chan pauses and stares into the distance, confusion written all over his face. “Why am I not like a normal person? Why would people hate me?”

“Are you serious?” Hyunjin scoffs. “You don’t think that people will have a problem with you if they found out you murdered somebody? That shit’s not acceptable in the real word, Chan. If you’re not careful, your true colors will show and people will become disgusted with you.”

Chan’s expression turns into one of hurt. “I thought you said that I didn’t do anything wrong…”

“ _I_ don’t think you did, but you know others will. I just don’t want you to get hurt, you know?” Hyunjin elaborates. “People can be pretty cruel. I’m glad that we managed to find each other. I’d never think any less of you for any reason. You’re my favorite person.”

“You’re my favorite person too,” Chan answers quietly. The rest of the evening goes well, Hyunjin gives Chan lots of affection, and they have sex again. Hyunjin doesn’t hold back with his possessive behavior, reminding Chan that he belongs to him, and him only.

  
  


A thing that Hyunjin begins noticing is that Chan seems to have started taking him for granted. Hyunjin does so much for him, makes so many sacrifices, but Chan starts acting as if it’s a given, and it pisses Hyunjin off. He doesn’t understand why Chan isn’t a bit more grateful considering that Hyunjin, beautiful, flawless, loved by all Hyunjin, is spending so much energy on him.

He’s kind of being a brat, honestly, so Hyunjin has to put him back in his place. He can’t have Chan go around thinking that he can get all of this and leave it all unappreciated, so he needs to teach him the value of his affection. Therefore, Hyunjin starts withholding it from him.

At first, it’s simply not giving Chan goodbye or good morning kisses. Hyunjin acts like he’s too distracted or busy, and he ignores the faint pout on Chan’s face. The elder doesn’t say anything about it, though. So, Hyunjin goes further, he starts ignoring Chan’s affectionate text messages, refusing his cuddles, and even stops having sex with him. Hyunjin feels bad about it, and he wants nothing more than to give Channie all of the affection that he deserves, but his baby needs to learn how to be more grateful for it.

Chan confronts him about it one evening, when Hyunjin is busy working on an assignment for one of his classes. “Hyunjin,” he whines, but Hyunjin doesn’t pay any attention to him. “Hyunjin,” he tries again, this time louder and draping himself over Hyunjin’s shoulders from the back.

“What is it? Can’t you see that I’m busy?” the younger man asks, pretending to be irritated. Chan whines again, this time a bit more quietly.

“I’m sorry, but can we please talk? Something is bothering me,” he explains, and Hyunjin sighs. He turns around to face the elder, and gives him a questioning look. “Uh,” Chan hesitates upon meeting his gaze, “I don’t mean to sound needy, but I’ve been kind of feeling neglected, lately? I know that you’re busy with uni and all, but it just kind of feels like you don’t want to make the time for me anymore… Did I do something wrong?” he asks nervously, averting his gaze.

Hyunjin sighs. “I’m trying to make you understand something, baby,” he says. Chan looks at him questioningly, then he continues, “I feel like you haven’t been appreciating my attention enough lately, so I need to teach you a lesson. You do understand how much energy it takes me, right? You’re very high maintenance, but I’m willing to do so much for you because I love you, but… If you can’t properly appreciate it, then what’s the point?”

Chan widens his eyes a little and blinks. “But I do appreciate it! Why do you think that I don’t? Is this really why you won’t kiss me or cuddle with me or fuck me anymore?”

“Yes,” answers Hyunjin plainly. “I’m sorry Channie, but it seems like you’ve been taking me for granted. I’ll only touch you again when you properly prove to me that my effort doesn’t go to waste.”

Chan frowns. “But-”

“No buts,” Hyunjin interrupts. “Now stop bothering me. Be a good boy and think about how you can make it up to me, then maybe I won’t make you wait much longer.”

Just like that, Hyunjin manages to get more of Chan’s attention back. Chan starts making sure to thank him every time Hyunjin does something for him, and he makes sure to offer him massages and cook for him, and basically shower him with all of the attention that Hyunjin used to shower Chan with.

One night, Hyunjin decides to be generous and gives Chan a peck on the lips as a thank you for dinner. When he pulls away, Chan grabs onto his arm and pulls him back, trying to deepen the kiss. Hyunjin allows it for a moment, before he pulls away and scowls at Chan. “What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” he asks.

Chan looks at him, bearing the expression of a kicked puppy, and says, “I’m sorry. I just… I really miss kissing you, Hyunjin. Please.”

“Please what?” Hyunjin sternly asks, raising a brow.

“I just want to feel you again. Please, let me kiss you. I miss you so bad,” he pleads, voice cracking slightly. Hyunjin can tell that he’s getting needy; Chan’s composure doesn’t usually break so easily. “Hyunjin,” he moans.

“No,” the younger replies heartlessly. “Stop being a brat. You’re going to have to wait it out. It’ll probably even feel better if you do, more rewarding.” Chan pouts at him, and it almost makes Hyunjin soften up, before he remembers something else. He grabs Chan by the chin and says, “Oh, and if you even _think_ about going to anyone else for this kind of thing, you can forget everything, yeah? I know you’re a bit of a slut, so I need to remind you. You better remember that nobody else will ever fully accept you the way that I do. Do you understand?” Chan is looking down, and Hyunjin has to dig his nails into Chan’s chin. “Channie, I asked you a question.”

“I understand,” he murmurs. “But, you know I would never even consider that…” the man says sadly, and Hyunjin leans in to kiss him on the cheek.

“Good boy. You’re so good for me, baby. This will all be worth it. Once you learn your lesson about gratitude, I’ll give you everything you want, okay?” Hyunjin asks soothingly, stroking the side of his face.

“Okay.”

  
  


It’s funny, truthfully, how much of a pathetic mess that Hyunjin is turning Chan into. Chan stops going out with his friends in favor of spending more time with Hyunjin. He also gives up on doing some of his work, all so that he can beg Hyunjin for more attention. It’s really ironic how in the beginning, Hyunjin was the one who’d make his days revolve around Chan, and now it’s the opposite. It’s very satisfying, honestly.

And, Hyunjin knows that he has him now. He knows for sure that Chan isn’t going to go anywhere else, because he’s grown so dependent on everything that Hyunjin gives him. He won’t be able to find this kind of emotional support from anyone else, because who would want to offer their affection to a murderer?

There’s only one last final thing for Hyunjin to do. The final step in his plan is to make sure that Chan accepts literally anything Hyunjin has to give him. He wants the man to truly and fully belong to him; Chan needs to understand that he has no right to refuse him, and that he should always be asking for more.  That’s the other reason why Hyunjin’s been denying him sex.

Without Hyunjin fucking him anymore, Chan’s resorted to masturbating regularly again, which Hyunjin let slip for a while. The man probably needed to relieve himself somehow, after all, but then Hyunjin decided that things would work better if Chan wasn’t allowed to. He told Chan that it hurts his pride, and it hurts his feelings because Chan apparently can’t be patient enough to wait for him. So, Chan stopped. That only made him so much more desperate though.

He’d constantly rub himself against Hyunjin’s thighs when cuddling, against the table, against the couch, always trying to find some sort of relief. He kind of looked like a bitch in heat, and it was amusing. Hyunjin would kiss him and touch him lightly, and Chan would immediately become a writhing mess. He keeps telling Hyunjin that he can’t do it anymore, that he’s going to go mad, but Hyunjin still denied him any kind of satisfaction.

Hyunjin’s resolve finally crumbles when, one day, he walks in on Chan desperately touching himself. He’s splayed out on the bed, pants and briefs pulled hallway down, bucking up into his hand. The sight is erotic. Chan’s eyes are closed and his mouth is forming a little ‘o’ shape, and he looks like he’s on the verge of cumming when Hyunjin finally decides to interrupt.

“Chan,” he calls out coldly, and the man freezes immediately. His eyelids flutter open slowly, as if he’s afraid of facing the reality in front of him. His hand still rests on his leaking cock, and Hyunjin harshly glares at it, making the elder let go. His body weakly falls back onto the mattress, breathing heavily, and he looks like he’s about to cry.

“I’m sorry,” is the first thing he immediately says. “Hyunjin, please don’t be mad.”

“Don’t be mad? How could I not be mad? You’ve been acting like such a whore lately, rubbing yourself against every surface, and now I catch you disobeying me?” he scolds, moving forward. “Do you not care about me, is that it?” Hyunjin asks, sitting down on the bed next to him.

“That’s not it,” Chan counters, staring up at Hyunjin pitifully. His expression turns into one of shock when Hyunjin slaps his reddish cock. He cries out in pain, bringing his legs in and curling up into a ball.

“Put your legs back down, let me see your pretty cock, baby. It’s so desperate. You were so close to finally cumming too, weren’t you?” he coos, forcing Chan’s knees back down. The elder shakily obliges, gripping onto the cover underneath him out of fear. “You poor thing, I can really tell that you can’t handle it anymore.”

Chan breathes in and says, “I really can’t. Please, let me cum. You don’t even have to touch me or anything, I know I’m needy, but I just really need relief.”

Hyunjin giggles and runs a finger up Chan’s length, feeling it twitch underneath his touch. “Oh, I’ll touch you. In fact, you aren’t allowed to touch yourself, I’ll do it for you. I think you’ve suffered enough. You might have ended up disobeying me, but I recognize your efforts. I’ll finally fuck you, okay? Is that what my Channie wants?”

“Yes,” the man immediately replies. “Please Hyunjin, please. Thank you so much. Thank you, thank you, thank you.”

“There’s only one condition,” Hyunjin raises an index finger, “You’re not allowed to say no to anything I give you. Do you understand?”

Chan nods, impatiently humping the air slightly. “I understand. I’d never say no to anything from you. I love you so much. Please, Hyunjin.”

“Good bitch,” praises Hyunjin, then he slaps Chan’s cock again. The elder yelps, wanting to curl up once more, but Hyunjin grips onto his chin as a warning. “Look at me,” he orders, and Chan obeys. His legs hesitantly go back down, but there’s tears threatening to spill at the corners of his eyes.

“It hurts,” he whimpers softly, and Hyunjin can’t help but coo.

“I know, Channie. But you like it, don’t you?” he asks, swiping his thumb underneath one of Chan’s eyes to collect some of the wetness. “Look at how hard you still are. It’s kind of disgusting, really. I can’t believe I’ve wasted so much of my time and energy on you,” he sighs, and Chan’s breathing quickens at that.

“No, Hyunjin. I’m sorry. Please, don’t be disgusted. I love you, I’ll stop being gross if you want me to,” he offers, but Hyunjin only shakes his head in response.

“You can’t just change who you are. There’s no point in lying to me like that. Just accept the fact that you’re a disgusting little pain slut. You love it when you get hurt, don’t you? That’s why you actually listened to me when I told you to stop jacking off. You love the way your cock throbs miserably when it can’t get what it wants.”

Chan hesitates for a bit, seemingly gathering himself before he finally admits, “Yes, I like pain. I’m sorry Hyunjin. I don’t want to disgust you. Please don’t hate me, I really need you so bad.” He throws his head back and swallows, while Hyunjin watches the way his Adam’s apple bobs.

“Oh, baby,” he murmurs, petting Chan’s head softly. “You know I can’t help what I’m disgusted by. But, if you like this so much, maybe I can learn to mind it less.” Hyunjin is lying through his teeth, because he knows damn well how much he already loves this. “You really do take up all of my energy, don’t you? Look at how far I’m willing to go for you…”

“I’m sorry,” Chan sniffles. “You don’t have to hurt me. You can do anything you want, please.”

“No, Channie. I do want to hurt you. I want to see how much you like it. Maybe seeing how hard you get from it will turn me on instead,” Hyunjin says gently. His hand goes from stroking his hair to his face, and then he slaps his cheek. Softly at first, and then another time more sharply. Chan moans in response, body subtly writhing. “You like that?” Hyunjin asks, then slaps him again, mercilessly.

“Fuck,” Chan curses. His breathing gets significantly harder, and Hyunjin lovingly strokes his face again.

“You’re handling it so well,” praises Hyunjin. “How else does my little slut want to be hurt, hm?” He moves his hands down the expanse of Chan’s chest, then slips them underneath his shirt. He gently scratches up and down the flesh, until he reaches his nipples, grabbing onto them and pinching them tightly.

Chan releases a high-pitched whine and tries to squirm out of Hyunjin’s grasp, but the younger man won’t let him. He only pinches them harder. “Stop,” Chan wails, and Hyunjin snorts.

“Stop?” He brings a hand up to slap him again. “I thought we were going to take everything that I give you. What happened to that?”

“Sorry, I mean, I just- Fuck.” He can’t get a proper sentence out, so Hyunjin decides to go pay some attention to his cock, stroking it slowly. Chan moans and bucks his hips up, bringing his hands to his hair so that he can twist his fingers into it. “Feels good,” he moans.

“Is this good? Do you like it when I pleasure you right after making you yelp in pain?” Hyunjin asks teasingly.

“Yes, so good. I love it. I love both. Please, give me more,” he moans breathily, and Hyunjin feels himself start hardening.

“You’re pathetic,” he suddenly says. “You know that, right?” Chan chokes on a whimper. “Out of all people I could have chosen to spend my time with, I decided to spend it with you. And, for what? To learn that you’re nothing more than a brainless, pathetic little pain slut? You don’t even care about trying to get me off, do you? All you care about is yourself. You’re so fucking selfish Channie, and I keep telling you. Can’t you think about me at all? Maybe I should just leave you; I’m not getting anything out of this.”

“No, that’s not true. I only think about you, please. Please don’t leave, I need you so much, I swear I’ll be good for you,” he begs. “Hyunjin, I’m so sorry. Please, I want to get you off. Please, I just need you so, so bad. I’d hate myself forever if you left me. You’re the only one I want, you can’t leave me. I would die,” he frantically begs. Hyunjin chuckles.

“I’ll just use you to feel good then. I can at least get that much out of it, right? You won’t even have to use that puny brain of yours to do anything,” he says and gets up to undo his pants.

After stripping his lower half, he positions himself above Chan’s face, knees on each side. His cock is half hard, and he trails the tip of it down Chan’s face. “Lick it, baby,” he orders, and Chan’s tongue immediately flies out. Hyunjin lets him lick the underside of it, observing the way his mouth moves. He grabs onto Chan’s hair with one hand and uses the other one to hold onto his cock as he presses it against Chan’s lips. The elder obediently opens his mouth and let’s Hyunjin slide himself right in.

Once he’s inside, Hyunjin lets go of his length so that both of his hands are grabbing Chan’s head by the hair. He allows the man to get used to the feeling, before slowly pushing in farther. Chan’s hands fly up to grab onto Hyunjin’s thighs as the younger pushes himself right to the back of his throat, making him choke a bit. Chan groans around his cock, which only makes it feel that much better. “Fuck, baby. You look so good with your plump lips stretched around me like that.”

Tears drip down the sides of Chan’s face when Hyunjin starts thrusting in harder, struggling to handle his length. The elder has an increasingly harder time breathing, so Hyunjin takes mercy and pulls out, resting his slick cock on his cheek as Chan coughs. He spots snot leaking from one of his nostrils, and he uses his dick to smear it around, before pushing it right back into Chan’s mouth.

This time, Hyunjin uses his thumb and index finger to pinch Chan’s nose shut, while the other hand stays in his hair, and he pushes himself in completely. Like that, Chan’s face rubs against Hyunjin’s pubes. He feels the man’s throat constricting as he gags, and the hands on Hyunjin’s thighs turn into claws as he feels them dig into his flesh. The younger grunts as he grinds against Chan’s face, watching his expression grow more and more anxious, unable to breathe. His face turns into a darker shade and his eyes start rolling back, and the clawing at his thighs gets more and more insistent. It feels amazing to have his body underneath him, trying to push away when there’s nowhere to go.

Chan pathetically cries around the cock inside of his mouth, practically laying in his throat. Hyunjin could cum just watching him struggle to breathe. Though, he doesn’t want him to pass out yet, and Chan’s scratching starts becoming more and more painful, so he pulls out all at once. A string of spit connects his dick to Chan’s lips as the elder violently coughs, eyes screwed shut. He opens them up again to stare at Hyunjin, and they look all dazed and red and pretty. Chan’s mouth also looks pretty, all red and slick. Hyunjin wants to shove himself back in, but instead he settles on slapping Chan’s face with his cock, spreading all of the saliva and mucus onto his cheeks, pushing the head of it against Chan’s eyes when they close again.

“That was amazing, Channie,” he praises softly, brushing Chan’s hair away from his forehead. “I take back everything I said. I couldn’t leave somebody who was made to take my cock so well. I was acting kind of silly, wasn’t I?” He chuckles lightly, but Chan can’t do the same. “Is there something wrong with my baby?”

Chan just shakes his head ‘no’ and sticks his tongue out again to lap at Hyunjin’s cock. “Hey now, let’s not get too eager,” Hyunjin says. “I bet you’d love it if I pumped my load down your throat, right?” Chan nods. “But I’m not done playing around with you. You don’t want me to fuck your ass?”

“Please,” Chan whispers, voice hoarse. “Whatever you want.”

Hyunjin smiles contently and moves to sit in between Chan’s legs after properly removing his pants and briefs. He happily notes that Chan is still erect, meaning that he’s enjoying everything after all, not that it truly matters. Even if he didn’t, Hyunjin would have forced him to feel good anyway.

Chan’s cock is too cute to ignore, so Hyunjin gives in and leans down. He wraps his lips around the head, swiping his tongue over the slit. Chan moans and quickly brings his hands to the younger’s head. “Hyunjin, wait. I’m going to cum,” he warns, and Hyunjin immediately slips off.

“That fast? Is that how turned are you are right now?” he asks, eyebrows raised in disbelief. Chan shyly nods, and Hyunjin laughs at him. “Dumb little whore. You’d cum from practically anything, huh? Bet you’re gonna shoot your cum all over your chest as soon as my cock just enters your ass. Am I right?”

Chan doesn’t answer, but he throws his head back and whimpers pathetically. Hyunjin lets it slide. He runs his tongue up Chan’s length, then pulls back and starts stroking his own dick, staring at older man’s ass. “My dick is already so slick thanks to you. Do I need to prep you, Channie? Or did you already finger yourself before I came in?”

“I fingered myself a little bit,” he admits timidly, and Hyunjin scoffs at him.

“Just stroking your dick isn’t enough, I see. You need something up your ass to make you really feel good,” he teases, then lines up his dick at Chan’s entrance. “I’m not going to go easy on you, you don’t deserve it. I’m sure you could cum from the feeling of my cock tearing your ass apart, anyway.”

Chan whimpers as soon as the head of Hyunjin’s dick starts pressing into his hole, and he throws his legs around the younger’s waist, pulling him closer. It’s a bit of a tough fit, Hyunjin realizing that Chan must have not been stretched all that well after all, but it doesn’t stop him from sliding in deeper, forcing Chan’s hole to split open wider.

“Burns,” the elder chokes out, not knowing what to do with his hands, until he eventually settles on biting down on one of them. Hyunjin sighs through his nose, ignoring the complaint. His hips eventually make it flush against Chan’s ass, and he moves the man’s hand out of his mouth so that he can lean down to press a kiss against it. The elder whines against his lips when Hyunjin pulls out a bit, then thrusts back in.

“Do you love me?” Hyunjin suddenly asks, forehead pressing against Chan’s.

“Yes,” Chan replies. “So much. I love you so much that it hurts,” he admits, and Hyunjin presses a kiss onto his nose. He thrusts in again harshly, and Chan moans.

“Do you like the pain of loving me, too?”

Chan looks into Hyunjin’s eyes, and the younger stares back. Anger rises in Hyunjin’s chest when he sees uncertainty swimming in Chan’s eyes. “I don’t know,” Chan answers truthfully, and tears up at the displeased expression that the other gives him.

Hyunjin pushes himself back up from Chan’s face; the elder doesn’t deserve such intimacy anymore. He snaps his hips forward, wanting to elicit a cry of pain from him, and it works. Chan chokes when Hyunjin starts fucking into him agonizingly.

“You’re a fucking worthless bitch,” Hyunjin insults. He grips onto Chan’s hips, making sure that his nails dig painfully into Chan’s flesh. He purposefully presses so hard that Chan yelps when he drags the nails down, lightly tearing his skin. He feels the dead cells accumulate underneath his dirty fingernails, and he picks it out, flicking it onto Chan. “What the fuck do you mean ‘I don’t know?’”

Chan sobs. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry, please don’t be angry. Hyunjin, I’m scared,” he cries choppily, bringing his hands up to childishly hide his face as Hyunjin rocks his body roughly.

“Well, maybe that’s what you need. Fear is a good way to help people learn,” Hyunjin says. He moves Chan’s hands away and then slaps his face. “Be fucking afraid of me.” He slaps it again. “Learn your place. Love me fully. Love everything about me.” Chan starts crying harder, clenching his hole around Hyunjin’s cock. “Do you understand why I’m doing this? It’s for you, Channie. Nobody else is ever going to fucking love a freak like you. I care about you _so_ damn much.” He yanks the hair at the back of Chan’s head, forcing his neck into an uncomfortable angle. “And after everything I’ve done for you, you have the audacity to be uncertain about your love for me?” He slaps his face yet again, sharper than any of the previous times. “Ungrateful, nasty bitch,” he nearly yells.

Chan’s chest heaves with the sobs erupting from it. He coughs, then chokes due to the uncomfortable angle his neck is in. “I’m sorry,” he slurs loudly. “I’m so sorry.” His words barely make sense. “Hyunjin,” he cries.

“Moan louder, won’t you?” Hyunjin complains. “Are you not feeling good enough? Isn’t this what you wanted? Didn’t you want me to fuck you?”

“Yes,” Chan agrees. “I love it, please fuck me harder. I feel so good Hyunjin,” he moans. “I,“ he chokes on another sob, “I’m sorry for saying that I didn’t know. I do know, I do.”

“What the fuck does a stupid slut like you know, hm?” Hyunjin asks mockingly.

“That I love you,” Chan answers. “I love you, I love everything about you, I love everything you give me.” He takes shaky breaths in between his words, and it sounds so miserable. The scene is so hot, it’s a miracle that Hyunjin still hasn’t cum inside of him yet.

“Is that so? How do I know that you’re serious?” Hyunjin stops thrusting his hips and let’s Chan clench around him.

The elder starts moving his body on his own, desperately fucking himself onto Hyunjin’s cock. “I just- I don’t know, fuck. But I do, I love you. Please trust me,” he whimpers. Hyunjin finally let’s go of Chan’s hair, and the elder starts bringing his hips against Hyunjin’s harder, propping himself up on his elbows. “Hyunjin, Hyunjin, fuck.” Chan starts laughing, which sends Hyunjin into a shock. It’s odd and unexpected, and Chan rolls his eyes back as he sharply inhales.

The elder sits up and roughly pushes Hyunjin down, and he lets Chan climb into his lap and sink down onto his shaft. “So good, Hyunjin. So good!” he moans, almost sounding like a porn star. “Hurt me more, please. Hurt me so fucking bad, I love it.”

Chan’s sudden change in demeanor puts Hyunjin off for a bit, but he eventually obliges and scratches him again, as painfully as he can. He makes sure to make Chan bleed, and when he does so, the elder groans in pleasure, all while breathlessly bouncing on his cock.

“More, more, more,” he pleads, and Hyunjin is nearly overwhelmed by how eager he seems to be. “I fucking love it, I fucking love _you_.” He lets out another cry of pleasure when Hyunjin pulls him down and bites onto his neck. “Yes,” he draws out, twisting his hands into Hyunjin’s hair.

The younger grabs onto Chan’s hips and holds them in place as he brutally snaps his hips up, making Chan’s body fall limp. It only takes him a couple of more thrusts before he’s finally cumming, shooting his load up into Chan’s loose hole. The elder leans back and grinds his hips down against Hyunjin’s cock, swivelling his hips and feeling the cum slip down his walls.

“Can I cum?” he asks, throwing Hyunjin the most adorable look that he can muster, and, how could Hyunjin deny his baby?

He grabs onto Chan’s leaking cock and pumps it rapidly, more focused on the way Chan’s brows furrow in concentration, and the way his muscles tense around Hyunjin’s dick. He’s probably not doing a very good job at jacking him off, but Chan cums either way, shooting his semen across Hyunjin’s hand and lower abdomen. The sound that escapes his mouth when he does so is not like Hyunjin’s ever heard before. It’s an odd mixture of miserable and euphoric, and Chan’s face is the same. Jaw hanging and eyes wide open staring into the back of his own skull.

After he rides out his orgasm, Chan’s body falls lifelessly on top of Hyunjin’s. The younger’s limp cock slips out, and he feels his own semen leak from Chan’s ass onto his thigh. They both lay there, catching their breaths. Hyunjin uses a hand to rub Chan’s back, and he whispers, “Channie, are you okay?”

The elder grunts in response, and it sounds affirmative enough. More silence passes until he eventually says, “I’m sorry, Hyunjin.”

“Yeah?”

Chan buries his face into Hyunjin’s neck, and his breath tickles the younger when he says, “I’m sorry for implying that I don’t like my love for you. You’re all I have, and I don’t want anything else.”

Hyunjin coos and hugs his Channie tightly. “That’s okay, baby. I know you didn’t mean it. I forgive you. But, you should never lie to me like that again, do you understand?” he asks, voice pitched higher, as if he’s talking to a child.

“Yes. Thank you for forgiving me. I love to be all yours,” he states, and Hyunjin smiles warmly.

The younger cleans them up, carefully handling Chan, the way he’d handle the beautiful flower that he had grown as a child. When he settles back into bed with his baby, Hyunjin watches in fascination the process of Chan falling asleep.

First, he chats a little bit. When he gets more tired, he stops and starts zoning out instead, blinking slowly. Then, his eyes softly flutter shut, and soon, his breathing slows down, chest gently expanding with each breath.

Hyunjin finally understands the true, real meaning of beauty. It’s not the flower that he took care of in his childhood, and it’s not himself. It’s not even Chan’s physique, either. No, what’s truly beautiful is Chan’s mind in its current state. It was picked apart and rearranged, oh so carefully and gradually by Hyunjin, and molded into Hyunjin’s ultimate creation.

He feels prouder than ever, knowing that something so beautiful belongs to him.

**Author's Note:**

> So, if you liked this fic, please leave a kudos and/or comment, i truly appreciate it. 
> 
> If you need anything from me: [Twitter](https://twitter.com/tripIebang/)


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